


And They Were Roommates

by Diabla05, Kyoanime3, Mighty_Penguin_96, RavenWolfCooper, Synstylae, thewishingdragon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Nonbinary Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Female Character, genderfluid betty, nonbinary jd, trans Veronica, trans mac
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 18:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diabla05/pseuds/Diabla05, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyoanime3/pseuds/Kyoanime3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Penguin_96/pseuds/Mighty_Penguin_96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWolfCooper/pseuds/RavenWolfCooper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synstylae/pseuds/Synstylae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewishingdragon/pseuds/thewishingdragon
Summary: Oh my god, they were roommates.





	And They Were Roommates

"God _ dammit, _ Heather!”

Chandler rolled her eyes at Duke as she stumbled to the kitchen. “What the fuck is your problem now?”

Duke shot her a nasty glare.  _ “You’re _ my fucking problem! What the fuck kind of reaction did you  _ think _ I’d have to you bringing home yet  _ another _ girl at who the fuck even knows what time last night?”

Chandler shrugged. “Not my fault you can’t get laid.”

_ “That’s not what this is about!” _

The front door opened a moment later, revealing an exasperated-looking Mac.

“Another hookup?” Mac sighed.

“She needs to stop doing this shit!” Duke insisted.

“What the fuck is the big deal?”

“All either of us can ever hear is the headboard slamming against the wall and you shouting to the heavens,” Mac said, “We’ve gotten so many noise complaints.  _ I’ve _ had to buy earplugs! And I slept through an earthquake once!”

“You could wake the dead with your loud-ass moaning!” Duke accused.

Chandler averted her gaze. “It’s not that bad…”

“People from  _ three floors above us  _ have been coming downstairs to tell us to keep it down!” Mac said.

Duke nodded. “At least Heather has the decency to have one night stands at her hookup’s place instead of coming here at fuck o’clock in the morning and waking everyone else up!”

“And Heather’s bed is on the opposite side of the wall your bed is up against,” Mac said, “She’s got it the worst out of the two of us, so it’s no wonder she’s pissed about it.”

Chandler rolls her eyes, stomping her way out of the conversation to her room, slamming the door behind her.

“What’s her deal? What  _ cosmic force _ is making her bring all her hookups over to our apartment? The beds are shitty anyway.” Duke scoffs, the mere thought of it infuriating her all over again.

Mac struggles to come up with any real answer, settling on, “Toys, maybe?”

“Can’t she just- bring the toys with her then?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Why can’t she eat cereal for breakfast instead of pussy for once?”

“Bold of you to assume she reciprocates,” Mac said.

“You know what? You’re right,” Duke said, “She totally gives off pillow princess vibes.”

_ “I heard that!” _ Chandler yelled, voice muffled by the door.

“Good!” Duke called, “Now you know how we feel when you wake up the whole goddamn floor!”

Heather and Heather returned to making their own breakfast, amounting to rubbery eggs and slightly burnt toast for the both of them.

“I swear I’m gonna move out,” Duke muttered.

“You say that at least once a week,” Mac said, “You know you’re not actually gonna leave.”

“I might.”

* * *

“Betty! Wake up! I made breakfast!” Veronica called.

The door swung open slowly, revealing a very obviously sleep deprived Betty.

Veronica gave her a sympathetic smile. “Long night?”

“Tell the sun to fuck off.”

Veronica snorted. “C’mon, there’s an omelette in the kitchen with your name on it.”

“Coffee?”

“The strongest I can stand.”

“Marry me,” Betty muttered.

Veronica laughed. “You’re not my type, sorry.” 

“For the tax benefits?” Betty added.

“If neither of us is married or in a relationship when we’re forty, sure.” 

“Nice, I’m gonna get fucked by the government for twenty more years.”

Veronica snickered. “Martha’s gonna eat your breakfast if you don’t come eat.”

Betty grumbled sleepily, shuffling her feet the whole way to the kitchen where Martha sat at the dining table, an omelette and a bowl of fruit salad arranged like something off of a foodie’s instagram.

“Morning!” Martha chirped, “How’d you sleep?”

“I didn’t,” Betty mumbled, pouring a cup of coffee, “I have a paper due tomorrow and I need another thousand words to meet my professor’s bullshit standards.”

“This is why I’m not a Robotics major,” Veronica said.

Betty rolled her eyes. “Like it’s easier to be an English major.”

“It’s not, but I’m less likely to have to do math.”

Betty hummed drowsily. “Where’s the new roomie?”

“JD? He’s in his room,” Veronica said, “I invited him to come eat with us, but he’s busy, apparently.”

“Probably watching porn,” Betty said.

“Don’t be gross,” Martha said, swatting betty with a rolled up newspaper.

“What the fuck am I, a cat?”

“Yes, and if you’re naughty I’ll have to get out the spray bottle.” Veronica shot back.

“This is bullying.”

“This is discipline for your crimes,” Martha replied, calmly taking another bite of her breakfast.

“If I didn’t love you both so much I’d move out.”

Veronica snorted. “In this economy?”

“You’re right, but you shouldn’t say it,” Betty huffed.

“Yes I should.”

Martha rolled her eyes fondly. “Let’s just stop bickering and enjoy our food, okay?”

“Aye aye, captain.” Betty gave a mock salute before digging into her omelette.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoy the fic! Please feel free to leave a comment, and don't hesitate to send an ask to @and-they-were-roommates-au on tumblr!


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